Suggestions for making life a breeze!!
Making a Fresh Start and Moving on From the Past
I've always been a shocker for losing and forgetting things. This is probably because by nature I'm a very disorganised person so I have to use lots of techniques and tools for keeping myself in order and be as disciplined about tidiness as possible. Because I don't really work at it though, I don't always succeed.
My dearly missed Mum always used to say you find it when you stop looking. Hmmmm .... Yes, that always worked but usually I found it the next time I moved house! The other thing she said, and it still never seems to fail, is saying a quick prayer to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost property! It works like a charm and I've found things in seconds after asking for his help.
I believe this works because having that extra bit of external assistance or divine intervention means (if you believe it) you are more likely to trust that the outcome you want (ie the thing you're looking for being found) is going to happen so you're more relaxed about it. This leads to clearer thinking enabling you remember better and get more ideas of where to look. (No disrespect to St Anthony intended!!)
So, back to losing things and forgetting where you put them! A really good set of tools and techniques called mnemonics can make a big difference to your life.
If you habitually lose things, like car keys for example, you can train yourself into the habit of creating a crazy visualisation each time you put things down. So, for example, if you toss your car keys onto the coffee table you can imagine the table exploding as they land. When you want to retrieve your keys you'll automatically associate them with the exploding coffee table and remember where you put them.
It's also a foolproof way of remembering people's names. So if you meet someone called Bob at a party who has a rather large nose (no offence to anyone called Bob or people with big noses), you might imagine a grotesque Bob the Builder trying to pull the guy's nose off with a wrench, or perhaps the man himself is bobbing up and down in the sea like a boat with his giant nose acting as a sail. The wackier, more colourful, more noisy and eccentric the visualisation, the better it works. It takes practice at first but you get quicker until eventually it happens instantaneously. I use this skill to remember names of participants in training courses and workshops.
Another way is using a numbered list and associated story line. For example, one is a tree (the trunk being a bit like a 1), two is a light switch (two settings), three is a three legged stool, four is a car (4 wheels), and five is a glove. Add lots of detail such as size, colour and sound effects to your storyline to make it more memorable. So let's say you go shopping and need five things: sugar, milk, newspaper, cabbage and a lottery ticket.
Imagine yourself looking at an old, knarled tree and growing from its branches are exploding sugar bags that get bigger and bigger then BANG! Sugar everywhere. One of the sugar bags flies off the tree and hits a massive red light switch which somehow triggers a gush of milk from above. You're getting wet and the milk is getting deeper so you stand on a purple and green polka dot three legged stool and hold a newspaper over your head to stay dry. (Whoa! It's the Sun and you've opened at page three and they MUST be implants!!) Just then a bright pink and yellow striped police car with flashing blue and orange lights comes speeding up nearly knocking you off the stool and its being driven by a cabbage. The cabbage waves at you out of the window with a giant gloved hand and in his hand he's holding a bottle of Champagne that pops and out squirts a fountain of bank notes instead of bubbles. Now, without looking at the list, what did you want to buy?
You should be able to remember items in order 1 to 5 easily but also in any order. Item 3 was the newspaper which you held over your head while standing on the stool. Item 5 was the lottery ticket represented by the Champagne and money in the giant gloved hand. Item 1 was sugar which was growing and exploding off the tree. Item 4 was a cabbage which was driving the car. Item 2 was the milk which came gushing down when the light switch was hit.
Of course the list doesn't have to stop at five. Six could be a half dozen box of eggs, seven a dice (lucky 7), eight a pool ball (8 ball), nine a cat (9 lives), ten could be a tree growing out of a big hoola hoop, etc. Once you start getting into double and larger figures you simply match up two or more together so twelve might be a tree with a light switch in the middle and 320 could be someone standing on a stool and trying to turn off the light with a hoola hoop.
Yet another version of this is to memorise the position of the furniture, pictures, ornaments etc in a room you know well and associate the items on your list with an item in the room. Add some crazy behaviour, bright colours and silly sound affects and this "mentally glues" the associations in place. You can then go round the room in your mind and see the items interacting with those in your room.
So the sugar might be pouring into your favourite vase, the milk is putting out the fire in the grate creating an awful cheesy smell, the newspaper has grown legs and is kicking the bookcase, the cabbage is singing out of tune and dancing on the table and the lottery ticket has grown huge and is stuck to the mirror.
It's amazing how many items you can remember this way and it got me through some very tough exams. Again, it all takes practice but its great fun to do and again, you get quicker at it so it eventually becomes instantaneous and second nature.
Positive About Redundancy
There's no denying it. Redundancy can be terrifying, demoralising and poverty-inducing, unless you're lucky enough to get a good pay-off and another job fast. More likely it's an uncertain and challenging time.
From personal experience I relate to the shock, worry, self-doubt and debt. There are never any guarantees, however, there is a choice in how you perceive it and react - give in to fear and blame the world; or see an opportunity, feel exited and take positive action.
Often I meet people who hate their jobs, believing it would be too risky to change employers or retrain for something new. Having been kept in their comfort zone by fear, redundancy can offer a blank canvass for a new future.
As a life and career coach, I encourage my clients to explore their dreams and discover new possibilities, starting with an analysis of their values. No-one can be happy if their work conflicts with issues that really matter to them. Imagine working in an abattoir when you are a vegan! What does the client enjoy? What motivates them? What are their dreams - no matter how adventurous? Looking at themselves from new perspectives enables them to decide what they really want in life and from their career. It's a fun and creative process. Some choose to stay and develop in their current careers, others change direction entirely. As part of a personalised coaching strategy we work on self-marketing, focus, job search skills and positive thinking.
My top five tips for anyone faced with redundancy:
ü It's vital to stay calm. Whilst anxiety is natural it never solves problems, only creates them. Think positive and upbeat no matter what. Tell yourself daily you are strong and successful.
ü Sort out the practicalities first. Ensure you get everything you're entitled to including benefits and any training allowances, eg an Independent Learning Account (www.ilascotland.org.uk - Scotland only). Seek independent financial advice. Whatever your circumstances, set a budget and stick to it.
ü Look after yourself with a healthy diet, quality sleep, regular exercise and minimise alcohol. Get all the support you can from family, friends and professionals.
ü Get organised with record keeping and time management systems. Commit to spending a set amount of time each day on job seeking or study activities, balanced with quality leisure time. Acknowledge when you have worked hard and give yourself credit.
ü Network at professional gatherings and on-line (try www.LinkedIn.com and www.Ecademy.com). Keep in touch with former colleagues who may know of openings. Print some basic business cards with your name, contact details and profession to take with you to meetings along with your CV.
Making a Fresh Start and Moving on From the Past
The Only Way Is Up!
No matter what course our lives take, from time to time we feel compelled to start again. It can be anything from redecorating or reorganising a room in your home to upping sticks and moving to a whole new city or even country to start a new life.
Even when you're living your dream, occasionally things start to feel a little stale and some kind of renewal, regeneration or a completely fresh start is just what you need to get you back into the fast lane on this wonderful journey of life.
No matter how good life is, there are bound to be awful times too such as experiencing bereavement, going through a divorce or losing your job. At times like this a fresh start isn't an option - it's a time to sink or swim. To come to terms with and accept the reality of the situation then, as quickly as possible, move on to create a positive future is the healthiest choice to make. This is never easy and can be an extremely painful process in the worst cases, but to stay stuck for too long can be fatal.
Many of us don't want to move on. We hold onto the past by hoarding items that have long since lost their purpose, constantly talking about how things used to be or repeating unhelpful behaviour and refusing to take positive action that will change our lives. Why do we do this? What possible purpose do we hope to achieve by living in the past instead of building our future?
We've all used the expression "better the devil you know", and there-in lies a clue - that word "devil". It evokes other words such as evil, hell or death. It presumes that things may be bad now but if we change things they could be even worse. The negativity of that expression prevents us from taking on the challenge of seeking out the light. It keeps us in a constant cycle of belief that moving on would be a bad idea and that we are afraid of what might follow, even if it's a good outcome.
Of course we are all afraid of failure, but can we really be afraid of success and getting what we want? Well, yes of course. I spent years wanting to be a trainer but was terrified of taking a course because I was afraid I'd have to stand up and talk to groups of people - the very thing I wanted to be able to do!! Crazy, or what? Yet when I did it the feeling I got from delivering my first training course was fantastic. My only regret was that I hadn't done it earlier.
Fear of failure is easier to understand but is just as irrational when you look at it closely. If fear of failure prevents you from taking positive action you are going to fail by default. By focusing on failure and its outcome you bring it about. On the other hand, by focusing on success and how fantastic its going to feel when you achieve your goal, you can't fail but to bring it about as you will take positive action. Even if your first actions do not bring about the desired results, by maintaining focus and adjusting your behaviour you will eventually achieve your goal.
For people who have experienced extremely traumatic events it may help to have counselling in order to understand their feelings better and come to terms with the past. However, life coaching isn't about the past - its about now and the future. We help our clients to acknowledge what has happened to them, begin to heal the past and take a positive learning experience from it. Very quickly we move the client on from the past into the present and future, keeping the focus on what they really want. If we think the person is traumatised in any way we will say so and suggest alternative professionals such as counsellors or even medics. Assisting them to take this step may even form part of the coaching strategy and if we feel that it is not the right time for the client to be coached, then we will not take it forward.
For most of our lives we don't experience such dreadful events but we do occasionally need a little encouragement and support to take the first simple three steps to making a fresh start.
Step One - Decide what it is you really want. This isn't always straightforward and can take a lot of thought and time. Maybe you've always known what it is you really want deep down but thought it was just pie in the sky or an impossible dream. Perhaps now is the time to examine those dreams and consider ways in which they can start to become a reality? Having a life coach to help steer you through the process and start believing and planning makes a huge difference. It may be that the "impossible dream" can be modified to something more realistic but equally as satisfying. Looking at your values and what is important to you is a key element of the process to ensure your objectives are in line with your true life purpose and mission in life. If you don't know your mission in life, a similar process can be used to identify it.
Step Two - Create a Plan. No matter how simple your plan is, it will need to be SMART and be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed. Your life coach can help you put together a failure-proof plan that will help you to see exactly how your outcomes will be achieved quickly and effectively then take it through to its completion.
Step Three - Take action. This is the most important step. Ask yourself what is the first thing that has to happen and what you can do to begin to bring it about. This is usually the first stumbling block. It can be the equivalent of jumping out of a plane to do your first sky dive or it might be the easiest thing in the world, even too easy. This is your first footfall on the path to positive change. Because it can be so easy to give in at this point, whether through procrastination, lack of self-belief or just not knowing what to do, your life coach will be on hand to offer all the support you need to follow through and continue towards your goal.
One of the best ways of bringing about change in your life is to spend some quality time thinking about it. Taking time out to focus on your life can bring about incredible changes and if that time is led by a world leading self-development guru then you can hardly fail to make positive changes.
Christopher Howard's Breakthrough to Success course is the perfect way to do this. You will spend time focussing on what you want and how you are going to bring about the changes by using state of the art NLP and hypnosis techniques. It's a learning and creative experience over three days and you can experience it FREE by clicking here and enrolling via the online booking form. Events for 2009 will be held in London, Dublin, Adelaide, Brisbane, Auckland, Melbourne and Sydney. I've attended this course myself and can promise you its well worth setting aside a long weekend for.
If you are thinking of making a fresh start in your life, or if you've been wanting to leave the past behind and are struggling to move on, why not get in touch with me and arrange a FREE life coaching sample session?
